My love for you is a masterpiece

I'm trying to ignore the fact that fall is more or less here by continuing to wear summer dresses. + very very old photo of the shoes.

I.
The evening when we met was too cold for us to develop any bond going farther than my admiration for you; I was surprised by your detachment from everything and everyone despite the awareness that you rarely put passion even in what you are known to be passionate about. I still wonder what it feels like to be you; the languages, the geographical confusion, how strictly you treat yourself. There are things you will never understand and I will never forget the way you pronounced your name when we shook hands. My inability to sleep that night was the most natural reaction to your indifference.

my love for you is a masterpiece

II.
You believe in retail therapy and will be the first to admit you're fond of thinness; sometimes I think you're entirely too avantgarde for me, for this city, but you cope well, you always have. It's ironic that you started treating me the way I wanted only after I had finally stopped yearning for it and moved on after months of what-should-I-doing and destructive restlessness. There are dozens of pages in my moleskines dedicated to you spanning over at least 3 years. If I told you that, would you be surprised?


III.


IT IS A MYSTERY
I WANT A GOOD STORY
NOW I'M IN MISERY
I LIKE BIG HISTORIES
IT'S NOT A MYSTERY
IT IS A SELFISH STORY
BUT I'M IN MISERY
GIVE ME A PERFECT …
Shiina Ringo is still obsessed by dissatisfaction with the body but what I find interesting about Tsugou no ii karada (都合のいい身体 – A convenient body) is the fact that the song and the music video portray two different types of said dissatisfaction: the lyrics remind me of Ringo's childhood when she underwent several surgeries leaving huge scars on her shoulder blades, yet the video is clearly dealing with beauty standards imposed by "society". Although she's always been more on the rebellious side, Ringo has remained so typically Japanese in terms of eccentricity and even "kawaiiness" that it cracks me up sometimes and this video is the perfect example of it.


This is the third time a Shiina Ringo song came at exactly the right moment in my life; it's such a pure, fabulous blast of energy that I cannot not feel at least a little like that too when I listen to it.

さくらん ;; Two years ago when I entered a contest organized by the Japanese government (the prize was a scholarship including a 2-month stay in Japan, going to Japanese school + learning the language) and came into the final round, I was aurally ingesting Sakuran (ONKYO version) day and night as if winning the scholarship depended on how many times I listened to the song. I didn't win, but I met Japanese people who spoke flawless Slovenian and used stroke order with Latin letters, which I suppose was worth something as well.

そうれつ ;; If I had to choose one song that will always remind me of NYC, it would be this one. Souretsu was my background music to walking home from the Roosevelt Island subway station in evenings, looking over the river at skyscrapers and lights when there was nothing but me and that incredible sound you can only hear in NYC, the sound of things happening 24/7. When I was still there I thought quite a few times "I'm going to have crying fits once I'm back to Ljubljana and this pops up on shuffle", but luckily it turned out to be just an irrational fear.


IV.

I've been getting comments that make me see things I wrote/wore in a completely new light on this blog and I often think of them even when I'm away from the computer. I started blogging because I wanted to connect to more people so getting thoughtful, sincere responses means a lot to me and I would like to thank everyone who takes time to produce quality content (blogs, comments, photography ...) I'd also love you to let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see on this blog or ask me any questions you might have. I (probably) won't bite!